You might’ve heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” This adage captures a deep-rooted human tendency: our incessant need to compare ourselves to others. In today’s social media-driven world, every moment becomes a stage to showcase achievements, making comparison an almost involuntary act.
How Comparison Ties in with Envy
Let’s take an example: Tom was overjoyed when his boss told him about an upcoming raise. But this joy was short-lived once he found out that his colleague, Alberto, was getting a bigger one. Even though Tom’s situation remained favorable, mere comparison stole his joy.
Constantly comparing ourselves to others pulls us into a whirlwind of negative emotions, from jealousy and envy to dissatisfaction. This habit not only damages our self-esteem, but can also spike our anxiety levels and feed into the persistent feeling of not being “good enough.” Seeing a friend’s house might make you feel that yours pales in comparison. A photo of someone enjoying single life might make you question your own relationship. And so, we fall into a spiral of envy, longing for what others have and losing sight of our blessings. However, this incessant comparison overlooks a fundamental truth: every individual is unique. We’ve all walked different paths, have different lessons to learn, as well as distinct goals and objectives to achieve. Therefore, comparing our life to others’ is as irrational as comparing apples to pears. Such comparisons are not only baseless but often unfair.
Turning the Lens Inward
The crux of the issue lies in our outward focus. So busy looking out, we forget to look in. By doing so, we open ourselves up to envy, longing for what others have, or wishing to be someone we’re not. Authenticity is lost in the shuffle.
True contentment comes from looking within. By focusing on ourselves, we find the only comparison worth making: with our past self. Ask yourself: Am I moving closer to my goals? Am I working towards my dreams? Am I growing as an individual?
Tools for Self-Discovery
One handy technique to combat envy and the urge to compare is keeping a gratitude journal. Noting down daily blessings can ground you in the wonders of your own life, diminishing the urge to measure up to others.
The next time comparison tempts you, pause and reflect. Remember, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Stay focused on your journey, cherish every step, and strive to be the best version of yourself.
By Marcela Allen. Expert in Mindfulness and New Thought Philosophy.