Are you unhappy? Stop and ask yourself why. If you have a great sorrow, time will be your consoler. And there is an ennobling and enriching effect of sorrow well borne. It is the education of the soul.
But if you are unhappy over petty worries and trials, you are wearing yourself to no avail; and if you are allowing small things to irritate and harass you and to spoil the beautiful days for you, take yourself in hand and change your ways. You can do it if you choose.
It is pitiful to observe what sort of troubles most unhappy people are afflicted with. I have seen a beautiful young woman grow care lined and faded just from imagining she was being “slighted” or neglected by her acquaintances. Someone nodded coldly to her, another one spoke superciliously, a third failed to invite her, a fourth did not pay her a call, and so on—always a grievance to relate until one is prepared to look sympathetic at the sight of her.
And such petty, petty grievances for this great, good life to be marred by! And all the result of her own disposition. Had she chosen to look for appreciation and attention and good will she would have found it everywhere.
Then, about your temper? Is it flying loose over a trifle? Are you making yourself and everyone else wretched if a chair is out of place, or a meal a moment late, or some member of the family is tardy at dinner, or your shoestring is in a tangle or your collar button mislaid? Do you go to pieces nervously if you are obliged to repeat a remark to someone who did not understand you? I have known a home to be ruined by just such infinitesimal annoyances. It is a habit, like drugs or alcohol habit—this irritability. All you need do is to stop it. Keep your voice from rising, and speak slowly and calmly when you feel yourself giving way to it. Realize how ridiculous and disagreeable you will be if you continue, what an unlovely and hideous old age you are preparing for yourself. And realize that a loose temper is a sign of vulgarity and lack of culture.
Think of the value of each day of life, how much it means and what possibilities of happiness and usefulness it contains if well spent.
But if you stuff yourself like an anaconda, dwell on the small worries and grow angry at the least trifle, you are committing as great and inexcusable a folly as if you flung your furniture and garments and food and fuel into the sea in a spirit of wanton cruelty. You are wasting life for nothing. Every sick, gloomy day you pass is a sin against life.
Get health, be cheerful, keep calm. Clear your mind of every gloomy, selfish angry or revengeful thought. Allow no resentment or grudge toward man or fate to stay in your heart overnight.
Wake in the morning with a blessing for every living thing on your lips and in your soul. Say to yourself: “Health, luck, usefulness, success, are mine. I claim them.” Keep thinking that thought, no matter what happens, just as you would put one foot before another if you had a mountain to climb. Keep on, keep on, and suddenly you will find you are on the heights, luck beside you.
Whoever follows this recipe cannot fail of happiness, good fortune and a useful life. But saying the words over once and then drifting back to anger, selfishness, revenge and gloom will do no good.
The words must be said over and over, and thought and lived when not said.
Excerpt from the book “The Heart of New Thought” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1903